Common Myths on Spirituality

Last week, I could not post. Actually I was slightly in low ‘energy state’ and could not lift my energy to write something on the topic this blog devoted to. Without tuning with the proper ‘mood’, trying to express/write is difficult, and if could able to do so, the authenticity seems to be lost and the action also becomes less enjoyable to the doer. It was how I felt! Just like this. One of the notion I collect during the blogging is that- what is written or appeared in the post is important, however, the emotional state and the intention behind the writing are the king; the emotional state affects the outcome of the writing in doer,  and the intention wrapped over words catches the attention and attracts similar vibration from the reader.

 

Ae! let me come to the track. Today is birthday of Buddha. Ah! i love to pray my favorite.

 

Buddham saranam gachchami (surrender to buddha)

sangham saranam gachchami (Surrender to the sangha)

Dhammam saranam gachchami (surrender to the Dhamma)

 

 

I like to share few thing thing this time as continuation of the previous post delusions of spirituality. Let me add few others in this post.

 

Spirituality is for searching god

People from every generation and race believe that spirituality is related to the search of the God. The god which is ultra-powerful, capable of solving any problem and creating any liked situations. Therefore there are different images of the god in different cultures. However, the quest of spirituality is pure exploration within and has less to do with the god. The purpose of spirituality is to find out the witnessing state; the observer behind the observation. This is what Buddha said- Appo deepo bhava (be light unto yourself). With this notion, the duality of atheism/theism is vanished. There can be debate on whether god exists or not, but nobody debates on the existence of him/herself (It is funny how can it be hehe). If needed ‘god’ can be used as the tools for worship  and the prayer, and so are the idols, temples, mosques and churches. The authenticity of teaching and the quality of true-master lie in the effectiveness in making the seeker realized the witnessing state.  However charming and convincing they could be - the discourses and teachings in the name of the god/spirituality- lack the true essence, if they miss the sutras of witnessing. Therefore Kabir says- All the pilgrims, vedas, devotions, worship, prayer etc are of no use without the knowledge of Naam (the witnessing essence).

Spirituality is for developing High moral and Character in a person

Many people believe that spirituality is for being good person, creating high moral and good characters in a person. Because of this belief, many people struggle hard and try to show these ‘values’ in their personality, suppressing dark emotions and negative energy within as a consequences. The spirituality has nothing to do with these attributes. A true seeker quietly accepts whatever feeling and the energy encountered during the journey of witnessing. By doing so, the dark aspects in the personality come into surface and the evaporates.

 

I recall a story of Mao. Once when he was a child, his mother told him to take care of the flowers in the garden as she had to visit her relatives for few days. He responded his mother not to worry, he would perfectly look after the flowers. His mother left and returned back to home after a week. To her surprise, all the flowers in the garden were pale and dying. Upon enquiring him, he worriedly replied  it happened in spite of his good care and watering them everyday. What he did was to clean the flower and wash the leaves only. He missed the very important action- watering  the root. 

 

Searching the observer is like watering the roots. Good morals, love and character appear as consequences, not by directly working with them.

 

On this auspicious day, I pray for the wellbeing for all. May this day give the energy and the motivation for the Journey Within.

 

Buddham Saranam Gachchami!

 

Technorati Tags: Myth of Spirituality,Witnesser

Intention Speaks Louder than Action

Intention speaks louder than action. Does it contradict action speaks louder than words? I like to start this post with a story.

Once a dacoit entered into the bedroom of a landlord, searched valuable thing around, found nothing, and sought the safe exit. While escaping from the room, the owner woke up. To be safe, he stabbed the owner and ran away. Fortunately, the stab became boon to the owner helping to release the secretion from the old wound of his stomach.

At other time, a doctor was performing a operation of stomach cancer to a patient. He tried his best, unfortunately the operation failed and the patient died. The result becomes unfortunate one.

Photo Courtesy

We are living in strange world generalizing our activities with an industrial process, where the final effect or result is more important than the process. The long story behind the realized effect is apparently forgotten; if the result appears to be acceptable, the story can be ignored. You may argue against the mechanization of your life style. If you believe the success on producing more favorable results, being top on the competition, and generating more facilities, you may have already been victimized by the mechanization in first place.

We all concern in the seen results. But what happening to the doer, what is affecting him- the result or the intention? On the perspective of result, the dacoit seems to be rewarded and the doctor to be punished. But somewhere in a corner, we still have respect of intention. If we go deeper into doer, intention is what he is responsible for. In making intention there is freedom. However, for the result, there is necessity of meeting several combinations, and hence his responsibility is less. For the law of life, intending to do something and realizing the result are qualitatively same. Thinking of killing/damaging someone/something but can not do (may be because of getting caught, lack of determination or whatever reason there may be) and be actually able to do, are same qualitatively; the degree, however, may be difference. In both cases, the intention is same and they will attract similar type of the negative energy field to experience, and vice versa. The intention of sucking lemon or actually do sucking brings similar reaction in our living mechanism; the mind assumes both phenomena as same.

Alternatively speaking, the result is the attribute of time. It is sometime in future and it is not sure that will happen as we desired. Hence, the result oriented perception do not bring the peace in doer as it chases away from the present. On the contrary, the attributes like happiness, peace and the satisfaction are in NOW and same is the intention, so they vibrate same plane affecting each other. Fortunately, this perception, attaching with the intention and effort rather than result, brings a relief leading to peace.

What do you think?

Technorati Tags: Intention,Law of Attraction,Art of Living

Law of Attraction: Is it Boon or Making Us Victim?

What is Law of Attraction?

Law of attraction (LoA) simply says: the physical reality in our life is result of our intense thoughts. The foundation of LoA lies on notion that every entity, including the gross matter, in the universe is a bundle of vibrating energy, and the like vibrational frequencies are attracted each other in a way a radio tunes the resonating frequency. It means people's thoughts (both conscious and unconscious) dictate the reality of their lives, whether or not they're aware of it. Essentially,

If you really want something and truly believe it's possible, you'll get it. On the contrary, putting a lot of attention and thought onto something you don't want means you'll probably get that too.

Thus, it says, what you are now is the result of your thoughts generated in the past.

Is LoA Real?

Well, the LoA has attacked the wide circles of people with its controversial claims. The self-help circle and the behavior scientist are in its favor, while the main stream physicists and the medical personnel criticize its claim in the light of existing experimental facts. However, the controversy seems to be the explanation of its claims rather than the claim itself. Whatever the case, most people convince on the fact that:

Changing our thinking 'may not' changes out in the vast universe surrounding us. However, it does change something inside of us; our perception, your focus, our emotions and our thinking from negative to positive. It motivates us to narrow the gap between what we lack to what we want and has an enormous impact on our motivation, energy and creativity, and thus, we will then be more efficient getting our goal.

In spite of lack of objective proof, our experience and broader perspective needs little proof for its existence. More over,  the unproven facts can not be always false in first place. The power of observation also develops gradually. The law gravity has always been there even though it was not proved until the 17th century. As I gather from quantum mechanics, LoA is partially proven. QM says every matters is bundle of wave with its unique frequency and like frequency get tuned. The controversy is whether thought is form of measurable energy and can 'attract' the similar one. There is benefit of doubt for both side. Whatever you like, upto you :-).

How LoA not Gives the Favorite Outcome?

By the same principle it attracts what we want, it also attracts what we worry about. When we worry continuously about the failure of our attempts and the future outcome, the universes reads the worried signal being transmitted. Since the universe has no biasness, it gives the added worriedness back to us and thus there is vicious circle created. Still worse, if we know the LoA, we will try to avoid the negative thoughts popping in the mind. Our very knowing, 'I should not be worry', will create more worriedness as negation is the invitation. As a result , there is more likelihood of getting the unwanted outcome.

More importantly, the knowledge of LoA may create the craving of positive thoughts and aversion of negative thoughts, which are the hindrance to the ascension. Unless we have the total acceptance of the negative/darker aspects, they will not come the surface and impossible to release them. Thus if we do not know the antidote of the thoughts, likelihood of becoming victim of the very knowledge is always there. What happen if we give the sharp sword to a monkey?

The Incomplete Explanation of LoA by Mainstream Teachers

The LoA is not a new concepts. The law of Karma and Jesus quote "Ask thy will be given" are related with this notion. However, the well documented form of LoA is in Buddha's technique. The LoA is related to the 'Samyak Sankalp', an ingredient of eightfold path. It mentions that our life realities are directed by our intense bhav (intentive emotion). Although the mainstream gurus often motioned that LoA originated from there, their explanation has made this a mediocre principle, focusing on the intentive thought (rather than bhav) for the realities to happen. It seems that LoA is being explained and taught by the people who do not have taste of thoughtlessness or total Presence. In thoughtless state how the LoA works or is there feeling without thought, I do not know their answer. This explanation may hinder the spiritual ascension too. Explicitly, it motivates to intensely identify with the thoughts and the vision which you like to realize. This way, though works to generate what you want, keeps us away from the true nature and farther away from the state of peace. Therefore, Buddha has given the antidote to de-energizing the thoughts in another ingredient of eightfold path, Tathata (accept what you feeling). Even if there is no thoughts, the subsiding bhavs (love, compassion or Maitri) always attract the like frequency.

Can We Put LoA in Our Favor?

If you go to fight you should first know the defense techniques. So first practice the art of Tathata before consciously applying the LoA. We may have following steps.

1. If we have nothing special to do, be in Now. Invest more of our energy in feeling the bodily sensations and beyond. The chain of thoughts (positive or negative) if come forwards, surrender them to inner space.
2. It is never possible not to do anything. We have to make choices, have to fulfill our daily responsibility, and of course they are are enjoyable too. Generate and focus on the giving-based emotion rather than greed-based emotion. Put our energy in the positive efforts. Share the ideas with the friends circle get the feedback and draw more energy.
3. Whatever the result obtained, accept it as the best gift provided to us according to the present stage of evolution.

In that way we may not gather 'tons' on money, but what we generate is satisfactory to us. Whatever the case, the LOA is always working in background.

 

What are your observation?

Technorati Tags: Law of attraction,Eightfold paths,Art of Living

 

Love References:

1. Law of attraction: How to use in your favor
2. Lessons from a Recovering Door Mat: Law of Attraction in Action with Worrying

Destiny or Freewill?

One of my fellow blogger has put one interesting topic on freewill and destiny in his blog. Regarding to the 'free will' and 'destiny', there are different schools of thought (i) Almost everything is predestined, very little is in our control, (ii) some part is predestined but in great extent, there is freewill (iii) everything is freewill. The freewill and the destiny are the relative realities at different reference plane. Human lives in three planes; body, mind and existential. At the body level, the degree of consciousness is very low and so is the freewill. If we seek the motives of bodily actions, we will grasp mind and imagination plane, where the degree of freedom is high, but not total freedom. If we go deeper beyond the mind, conscious/subconscious where the bubbles of thoughts rise and sink, there is existential level or the level of being. At that level, I believe, the total freedom be witnessed. In existential plane, what we call destiny is also found to be our collective choice as there is oneness. In lower levels, these are understood as destiny, as we feel ourselves as separate entity hence cannot be able to link the choice we collectively made.

Most of the psychologists, behaviorists and psychoanalysts project the deepest human level unto subconscious level. Beyond that, the observation is not possible; the observer simply remains unobserved. So at that level, the result they concluded free-will as "... biological clock-work that have no more free will than a Swiss watch" is not much surprising.

So i think, we deduce the meaning of observation according to the plane where we are. What do you think?

Free will: the power to choose

I was thinking to write on different topic. However, due to interesting discussions on the previous post contributed by my friends, I lured to extend the topic a bit more. Rather than trying to ‘answer’ the curiosity which I may not do, I am just holding the topic more. As pointed in the discussion, we found us as the victims of reactive mind. We generally can’t grasp the gap between the stimulus and the response, which is the greatest power- freedom to choose. As soon as we receive events as sensations, there is built-in reaction pattern to respond. Therefore we often lack to witness the 'free will'.

Firstly, there arose the concern about 'events' and life. In ordinary sense, the term events in “life is more important than events” was meant to those particular events which are still binding us, whose negative impacts burden us physically and mentally. We many times create a boundary (emotional, personal and social) because of those events happened in the past.

In general sense, as Caroline wrote “Every event in our life is neutral...until we give it meaning". Our 'life', the way we feel, is not accumulation of events. Rather it is the accumulation of meaning associated with the events. See how a single event carries so many different meanings to different people, sometimes diametrically opposite impact to the different observers. Each event consists of three parts- fact, fiction and truth. Fact is the objective observation, fiction is the unconscious reactive pattern and the truth is the understanding in a direction of growth. So, can we deduce positive meaning with events? Although it is very difficult not to generate fiction in the every events in our life, if we watch carefully, we can do in most of the cases in our everyday life. Getting accustomed to the ‘small’ events we can be master to the difficult events. Even the term ‘attainment’ also comes, as I believe, in terms of collective understanding of the events.

Lastly I like to conclude with very inspiring story, which I always love, of Viktor Franlin who practice the freedom in very adverse environment. I quote the following portion of Franlin's biography from book seven habits of highly effective people. Enjoy if you have not already gone through.

Frankl was a psychiatrist and imprisoned in the death camps of Nazi Germany,　where he experienced things that were so repugnant to our sense of decency that we shudder to even　repeat them. His parents, his brother, and his wife died in the camps or were sent to the gas ovens. Except for his sister, his entire family perished. Frankl himself suffered torture and innumerable indignities,　never knowing from one moment to the next if his path would lead to the ovens or if he would be among the "saved" who would remove the bodies or shovel out the ashes of those so fated.

One day, naked and alone in a small room, he began to become aware of what he later called "the last of the human freedoms" -- the freedom his Nazi captors could not take away. They could control his entire environment, they could do what they wanted to his body, but Viktor Frankl himself was a self-aware being who could look as an observer at his very involvement. His basic identity was intact. He could decide within himself how all of this was going to affect him. Between what happened to him, or the stimulus, and his response to it, was his freedom or power to choose that response.

In the midst of his experiences, Frankl would project himself into different circumstances, such as lecturing to his students after his release from the death camps. He would describe himself in the classroom, in his mind's eye, and give his students the lessons he was learning during his very torture. Through a series of such disciplines -- mental, emotional, and moral, principally using memory and imagination -- he exercised his small, embryonic freedom until it grew larger and larger, until he had more freedom than his Nazi captors. They had more liberty, more options to choose from in their environment; but he had more freedom, more internal power to exercise his options. He became aninspiration to those around him, even to some of the guards. Later, he helped others find meaning in their suffering and dignity in their prison existence. In the midst of the most degrading circumstances imaginable, Frankl used the human endowment of self-awareness to discover a fundamental principle about the nature of man: Between stimulus and response, man has the freedom to choose. Within the freedom to choose are those endowments that make us uniquely human. In addition to self-awareness, we have imagination -- the ability to create in our minds beyond our present reality. And, we have independent will, the ability to act based on our self-awareness, free of all other influences.

Art of living: Reading our inner 'Geeta' or samyak dristi

In one of my earlier post, we came across the phrase 'Reading our own Geeta/Bible/Koran'. It is worthy to read. If a person only reads the outer scriptures and lacks to read his/her own, there is the origin of hypocrisy; we cannot live, or put our energy to live, what we think and desire. There are many examples who only read the inner 'Geeta' and attained the unconditional happiness. But, there is none in human history who only read the outer scriptures and got peace or attained happiness. On contary, When one reads inner scripture, s/he can attain, then there is birth of scriptures. Jesus attained and the Bible born, Buddha attained and the dhammapad born, Muhammad attained and Koran born, and so on. The outer scriptures, in true sense, are the pointer and catalyst aiming to direct us to read our own, the original one.

How to read the own Geeta?

To read own Geeta means to watch own life and living patterns, and identify the causes of (un) happiness. If happiness is within, where exactly is it? Let us take a closer look. The term we know 'life' is a chain of events happening one after another according to their own laws. But what we interpret is little different, it is the fiction we create according to the way of looking. The event happens outside and through our sensor system we receive the signals. When the mind receive the signals in term of vibration of unique frequency, we feel it through the sensations. There is program within us which judges the feelings in term of 'good' and 'bad'. Then there is craving and aversion of respective sensations. This the origin of pain.

Coming to the point

We are happy or sad, not because of external event, but because of the manipulation of that event; the story being added from our side with that event. If we look at our own past and capture the moments of pain which are even re-striking now, what we find the root?

1) The loss of valuable things?

No. There are lot of news about loss everyday but why this particular one is causing me pain. It is my fiction that the lost thing is MINE.

2) Feeling insulted and victim?

We are creating the outer layer to show other. The layer consists of story known as PERSONALITY. If the feeling are not accordance to that layer, the story amplifies the feeling so that it could be able to hurt us.

3) The result didn't happen as we wish?

In the stage of doing work, there is involvement of me only. But for results, there are many combinations to be fulfilled, there is involvement of entire universe. I am claiming that the universe should only favor me. I am the center of universe! how dare I!

4) Put other events and watch..

Is there any way to getting rid of these chains and bundle of frictions? The trap is due the program written unconsciously by ourselves. Let us write own program. Be programmer.

Be Programmer means

A vision free of fiction may be called as Right Paradigm or Samyak Dristi a constituents of eightfold path of Lord Buddha.

For meditation practitioner who are accustomed to watch own feelings, it may be applicable to be at the state of letting-go, recognizing the fact that all the sensations are ephemeral; the essense of vipassana.

However, for the common people, can we rewrite our story or twist our program based upon:

=> Life is more important than events,

=> people are more important than things,

=> principle are more important than relations?

The question is open so is the answer.

Five Delusions of Spiritual Journey.

Human race has one religion- it is the quest for happiness. Each of our activity is motivated consciously or unconsciously to get better feeling. Even a thief and a murderer rationalize their actions in term of seeking 'happiness'. We have many beliefs to achieve it; wealth, power, knowledge, truth and so on. Among them, it is amazing that power and wealth have never failed to confuse human race as a synonym of happiness. And, this chaos of struggle to achieve more, makes a person machine depleting much of his life energy. However, in this world of discord, there are still few people who believe and seek happiness primarily in recognizing IT within. They may not be 'religious' but are 'spiritual'.

Here is another aspect which always fascinates me. There is no single person in human history who could have ever become happy by searching it outside. Alexander to Einstein, Russel to Shaw, all found emptiness within during their death. One the contrary, there is no single person in human race who ever have tried honestly to seek peace within and failed to achieve so. In spite of this marvelous fact, why the wealth and power always entice us as synonym of happiness? In great extent, so-called religious activities are also aimed to generate more coin and influence.

Why it is so? There are five delusions about spirituality since ages..

1) Spiritual quest is for few excluded person who are gifted and destined to achieve self- realization.
2) How can we do meditation when the world around us is filled with chaos? There was never perfect peace in world nor will be. In this dialectic world new controversies and disputes, physical or mental form, come and go. A sick person is arguing, " I will not take medicine until i will be healthy".
3) Spiritual activities are for older age and retired life. Phew! we lose all our creative energy in other things and hope to happen good thing with exhausted body and mind. Importantly, who knows we will live until our old age.
4) We have no time for meditation.
It is matter of priority. We never say- we have no time to eat, bath and sleep. We don't say-we have no time for busying in nonsense task, spending hours in TV, seeking something in internet to kill our boring. . We somehow manage. See our priority list, spirituality is probably at the last of the menu.
5) Spiritual practice is for elite and wealthy people.
In the medieval time bathing, shaving and tooth-brushing were termed as activities of elite class. It is a cleaning process and in reach to anybody whoever like to do so.

Living with New-Year-Resolution

I recall one of my friend's blog titled Never Stop Dreaming. It is very loving phrase indeed. The dream I am not talking about an unconscious wandering of mind. The dream, for me, means a passion and visualization of higher meaning. To live life in fullest. To pour the whole energy consistently in a direction of growing. A motivation not to satisfy in mediocre activities. To listen the music coming from the unknown world and run after it, like a child follow his mother. It has so much to say...

I also have beautiful dream. You also have. In fact every dream is beautiful, otherwise it does not deserve to be a dream. Now look back to ourselves and our dream. Are we living the dream ? There are mixed answers. For me living the dream is not putting of the joy and happiness until the dream fulfils. Dream doesnot means 'some day' after the achieving 'some thing', I will able to enjoy fullest. The truth is that are we decided to be happy now, on the course of achieving it? While the goal provides a magnificent direction and way to focus, I have better try to live each day squeezing all the joy I can tap of in the given moment. .I heard some where a phrase,

“Remember that the direction we are heading is more important than the individual results”. However, it is not too easy as said nor too difficult and serious as people contemplate. It is a game worthy to play

I believe that if we move in particular direction with passion, whatever result we achieve in a way is better than we are pursuing of. Now a question arises, are we in the direction of our dream. To answer the question, read ourselves. It meant to read own handwriting, own Geeta/Kuran/Bible. Reading own Geeta is more important than the others'. Here is a vey loving and passionate poem, Madhushala, composed by Haribansa Ray Bachchan.

धर्मग्रन्थ सब जला चुकी है, जिसके अंतर की ज्वाला,

मंदिर, मसजिद, गिरिजे, सब को तोड़ चुका जो मतवाला,

पंडित, मोमिन, पादिरयों के फंदों को जो काट चुका,

कर सकती है आज उसी का स्वागत मेरी मधुशाला।।१७।

What is our handwriting, our Geeta? How to read?.. Lets discuss..put our views..
To be continued..

Art of Emotional Mastery: Part II

Remaining of the earlier section proceeds as follow.

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STEP TWO
Acknowledge and Appreciate Your Emotions, Knowing They Support You
You never want to make your emotions wrong. The idea that anything you feel is "wrong" is a great way to destroy honest communication with yourself as well as with others. Be thankful that there's a part of your brain that is sending you a signal of support, a call to action to make a change in either your perception of some aspect of your life or in your actions. If you're willing to trust your emotions, knowing that even though you don't understand them at the moment, each and every one you experience is there to support you in making a positive change, you will immediately stop the war you once had with yourself. Instead, you'll feel yourself moving toward simple solutions. Making an emotion "wrong" will rarely cause it to become less intense. Whatever you resist tends to persist.

Cultivate the feeling of appreciation for all emotions, and like a child that needs attention, you'll find your emotions "calming down" almost immediately.

STEP THREE
Get Curious about the Message This Emotion Is Offering You
Remember the power of changing emotional states? If you put yourself in a state of mind where you truly are feeling curious about learning something, this is an immediate pattern interrupt to any emotion and enables you to learn a great deal about yourself. Getting curious helps you master your emotion, solve the challenge, and prevent the same problem from occurring in the future. As you begin to feel the emotion, get curious about what it really has to offer you. What do you need to do right now to make things better? If you're feeling lonely, for example, get curious and ask, "Is it possible that I'm just misinterpreting the situation to mean that I'm alone, when in reality I have all kinds of friends? If I just let them know I want to visit with them, wouldn't they love to visit with me as well? Is my loneliness giving me a message that I need to take action, reach out more and connect with people?" Here are four questions to ask yourself to become curious about your emotions:

What do I really want to feel?

What would I have to believe in order to feel the way I've been feeling?

What am I willing to do to create a solution and handle this right now?

What can I learn from this?

As you get curious about your emotions, you'll learn important distinctions about them, not only today, but in the future as well.

STEP FOUR
Get Confident.
Get confident that you can handle this emotion immediately. The quickest, simplest, and most powerful way I know to handle any emotion is to remember a time when you felt a similar emotion and realize that you've successfully handled this emotion before. Since you handled it in the past, surely you can handle it again today. The truth is, if you've ever had this Action Signal before and gotten through it, you already have a strategy of how to change your emotional sates.

So stop right now and think about that time when you felt the same emotions and how you dealt with them in a positive way. Use this as the role model or checklist for what you can do right now to change how you feel. What did you do back then? Did you change what you were focusing on, the questions you asked yourself, your perceptions? Or did you take some kind of new action? Decide to do the same right now, with the confidence that it will work just as it did before. If you're feeling depressed, for example, and you've been able to turn it around before, ask yourself, "What did I do then?" Did you take some new action like going for a run or making some phone calls? Once you've made some distinctions about what you've done in the past, do the same things now, and you'll find that you'll get similar results.

STEP FIVE
Get Certain You Can Handle This Not Only Today, But in the Future as Well
You want to feel certain that you can handle this emotion easily in the future by having a great plan to do so. One way to do this is to simply remember the ways you've handled it in the past, and rehearse handling situations where this Action Signal would come up in the future. See, hear, and feel yourself handling the situation easily. Repetitions of this with emotional intensity will create within you a neural pathway of certainty that you can easily deal with such challenges. In addition, jot down on a piece of paper three or four other ways that you could change your perception when an Action Signal comes up, or ways that you could change how you were communicating your feelings or needs, or ways that you could change the actions you were taking in this particular situation.

STEP SIX
Get Excited, and Take Action
Now that you've finished the first five steps—identified what you were really feeling, appreciated the emotion instead of fighting it, gotten curious about what it really meant and the lesson it was offering you, learned from it, figured out how to turn things around by modeling your successful past strategies for handling the emotion, and rehearsed dealing with it in future situations and installed a sense of certainty—the final step is obvious: Get excited, and take action! Get excited about the fact that you can easily handle this emotion, and take some action right away to prove that you've handled it. Don't stay stuck in the limiting emotions you're having. Express yourself by using what you rehearsed internally to create a change in your perceptions or your actions. Remember that the new distinctions you've just made will change the way you feel not only today, but how you deal with this emotion in the future. With these six simple steps, you can master virtually any emotion that comes up in your life. If you find yourself dealing with the same emotion again and again, this six-step method will help you identify the pattern and change it in a very short period of time. So practice using this system. Like anything else that's brand-new, at first this may seem cumbersome. But the more you do it, the easier it will become to use, and pretty soon you'll find yourself being able to navigate your way through what you used to think were emotional minefields.
What you'll see instead will be a field of personal coaches guiding you each step of the way, showing you where you need to go to achieve your goals. Remember, the best time to handle an emotion is when you first begin to feel it. It's much more difficult to interrupt an emotional pattern once it's full-blown. My philosophy is, "Kill the monster while it's little." Use this system quickly, as soon as the Action Signal makes itself known, and you'll find yourself being able to quickly handle virtually any emotion.

From the Book: Awaken the Giant Within.

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Art of Emotional Mastery

Emotions are the wonderful gift to us what demarcate human being with a potential robot, however complex program and sophistication are imagined and implemented with it. If we believe happiness is within us, in our way of reacting the present states, then the emotion is the grosser entity within us to work with. No one in this world has become happy and be in peace without mastering the emotions that arise and diminishe according to their own causes. Unfortunately, there are no schools and universities which teach us the way of mastering them. Hence, this branch always has become very subjective, fuzzy and the travel to unknown land. Even more puzzling aspect is that the people who seem to be teaching this art, many-times lack the essence in their own living, thus creating controversy of teaching in the earnest seeker.

Knowingly or unknowingly we are all constantly searching the emotion that brings us the pleasure and avoiding those emotions which bring the pains, be it in bodily or mental form. That means our mind-body state is either in craving state or in the state of aversion. Then, a natural question arises whether we are program or the programmer. Unfortunately, we seems to be a network of program written by our society, upbringing, religions and our so-called education, and naturally the switch of our emotional states- happiness, pain, anger, boring etc - are outside us. If someone scolds ME, without actually knowing to the true ME, the program in ME starts to create the psychosomatic reactions to produce the emotion that we called ANGER. When someone praises ME, the program in ME creates bio-chemical reaction to produce the effect that we label PLEASANT MOOD. If we are programmer of our being, we could laugh wholeheartedly to whatever negative expression is released to us. And equally, when needed, I could be angry against all the positive feeling being presented. Thus to understand, accept and live harmoniously with the emotions consciously, is one of the most wonderful art; and perhaps, most difficult too. The only way to master the emotions is by understanding their true nature, the way they are, without preoccupied judgment of good or bad. The emotions- including those we label them BAD- are our ally not enemy and constantly serving us by delivering the signals which can be used to create the result for the greater meaning of WHO AM I. In the following paragraphs I like to share some secrets I found from the books I went through.

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Part I. Dealing with Negative Emotion

Realize that the emotions you are feeling at this very moment are a gift, a guideline, a support system, a call to action. If you suppress your emotions and try to drive them out of your life, or if you magnify them and allow them to take over everything, then you're squandering one of life's most precious resources.

So what is the source of emotions? You are the source of all your emotions; you are the one who creates them. So many people feel that they have to wait for certain experiences in order to feel the emotions they desire. For instance, they don't give themselves permission to feel loved or happy or confident unless a particular set of expectations is met. ……….You don't have to wait for anything or anyone! You don't need any special reason to feel good—you can just decide to feel good right now, simply because you're alive, simply because you want to. So if you're the source of all your emotions, why don't you feel good all the time? Again, it's because your so-called negative emotions are giving you a message. What is the message of these Action Signals (Negative signals)? They're telling you that what you're currently doing is not working, that the reason you have pain is either the way you're perceiving things or the procedures you're using: specifically, the way you're communicating your needs and desires to people, or the actions you're taking. What you're doing is not producing the result you want, and you have to change your approach. Remember that your perceptions are controlled by what you focus on and the meanings you interpret from things. And you can change your perception in a moment, just by changing the way you're using your physiology or by asking yourself a better question. Your procedures include your style of communication. Maybe you're being too harsh in the way you communicate, or maybe your procedure is not even communicating your needs, and you're expecting other people to know what you need. This could create a lot of frustration, anger, and hurt in your life. Maybe this Action Signal of feeling hurt is trying to tell you that you need to change your way of communicating so you don't feel hurt again in the future. Feeling depressed is another call to action, telling you that you need to change your perception that the problems you're dealing with are permanent or out of control. Or, you need to take some kind of physical action to handle one area of your life so that once again you remember that you are in control.

This is the true message of all your Action Signals. They're merely trying to support you in taking action to change the way you think, change the way you're perceiving things, or change your procedures for communicating or behaving. These calls to action are there to remind you that you don't want to be like the fly who keeps banging himself against the window, trying to get through the glass—if you don't change your approach, all the persistence in the world will never pay off. Your Action Signals are whispering to you (perhaps screaming!), through the experience of pain, that you need to change what you're doing.

SIX STEPS TO EMOTIONAL MASTERY

I've found that whenever I feel a painful emotion, there are six steps I can take very quickly to break my limiting patterns, find the benefit of that emotion, and set myself up so that in the future I can get the lesson from the emotion and eliminate the pain more quickly. Let's examine them briefly.

STEP ONE

Identify What You're Really Feeling

So often people feel so overloaded they don't even know what they're feeling. All they know is that they're being "attacked" by all these negative emotions and feelings. Instead of feeling overloaded, step back for a moment and ask yourself, "What am I really feeling right now?" If you think at first, "I'm feeling angry," begin to ask yourself, "Am I really feeling angry? Or is it something else? Maybe what I'm really feeling is hurt. Or I feel like I've lost out on something." Realize that a feeling of hurt or a feeling of loss is not as intense as the feeling of anger. Just in taking a moment to identify what you're really feeling, and beginning to question your emotions, you may be able to lower the emotional intensity you're experiencing, and therefore deal with the situation much more quickly and easily. If, for example, you say, "Right now I feel rejected," you might ask yourself, "Am I feeling rejected, or am I feeling a sense of separation from a person I love? Am I feeling rejected, or am I feeling disappointed! Am I feeling rejected, or am I feeling a little uncomfortable?" Remember the power of Transformational Vocabulary to immediately lower your intensity. Again, as you identify what you're really feeling, you can lower the intensity even more, which makes it much easier to learn from the emotion…..

From the book Awaken the Giant within

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To be continued……